Several years ago, (Okay, maybe it was a decade or two ago.) it was common to see those magazines at the checkout in supermarkets featuring quizzes of various sorts:
Are you a supermom?
Are you obsessive-compulsive?
Do you have a great sense of humor?
Are you a real man?
I was never very fond of those. They were always multiple choice and, invariably, none of the answers I would pick were even available. For example:
An alligator suddenly appears in your swimming pool. Do you:
A. Gather the children together for a lesson on the wonders of nature.
B. Call the pool man because who KNOWS where that filthy animal has been?
C. Get out your video camera because you just KNOW something hilarious is about to happen.
D. Get out your gun and start shooting while your wife heats up the cooking oil.
First of all, I don’t have a swimming pool. Second, I live in Minnesota. If an alligator suddenly showed up in my non-existent swimming pool, the logical course of action would be to call the authorities because they would probably be aware of the zoo from which this animal escaped and I’m probably in need of some treatment for the hallucinations I am having.
Nonetheless, they were very popular, so they must strike some kind of chord with people. In that spirit, I have developed a Christianity Quiz for you, my loyal readers. Yes, all 13 of you.
Disclaimer: The Christianity Quiz is not a scientific test. There are no passing or failing grades. Grading is based entirely on the honor system. Your answers are between you and the Holy Spirit only. Passing the Christianity Quiz is NOT a “Get Out of Hell FREE” card nor is it a ticket into heaven.
1. As you walk to the checkout at the store with a single carton of milk in your hand, a woman with two screaming kids and a full cart of items darts in front of you. Do you:
A. Look around to see if another checkout line is open
B. Loudly sigh in disgust, place your hand on your hip, and say, “WELL!”
C. Offer to help any way you can, give a calming and reassuring smile to her children, and maybe even pitch in a few bucks to help her afford what’s obviously stretching her budget.
D. Go to the manager of the store and complain in no uncertain terms that you have never, in all your life, seen such a poorly run store.
2. You and your spouse are watching the evening news on television. Yet another story is airing about someone involved in murder, greed, lust, corruption or all of the above at once. Do you:
A. Change the channel.
B. Sigh while muttering the words, “End times, end times.”
C. Pray that the individual involved would come to know Jesus as Lord and Savior, be saved, and spend eternity in heaven with all the believers praising Him and rejoicing. Then, get involved in a ministry that actually helps them do just that.
D. Complain loudly, “Why don’t they just take people like that out and shoot ‘em?”
3. You find out a co-worker has been telling lies about you, seriously harming your reputation with your other co-workers and your boss. Do you:
A. Start looking for another job.
B. Just put up with it.
C. Take your co-worker aside privately, try to find out what is hurting them inside, and reach out to them with the love of Jesus.
D. Go to the boss, complain loudly, and insist that the offender be punished.
You’ll notice that no answer key is provided, as we all know what we should do in those situations.
And yes, I failed it too.
Three things will last forever--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love. -- 1 Corinthians 13:13 (NLT)